Abundance used to be the privilege, now limitation is
I think limitations and abundance have a completely different meaning today than they used to. Not just the meaning but the purpose they serve. A hundred years ago information was scarce. Books were limited, good education was for the few and whoever knew more had the advantage. Today information is everywhere and free, available from every screen and the advantage goes to the people who can filter it out. Abundance used to be the privilege. Now limitation is.
And especially now with AI, the most successful people really do limit themselves. For many of them it’s second nature: they control how much content they consume, what gets into their head, what gets their attention, what gets into their subconscious mind and what they feed it. Underprivileged people on the other hand, have unlimited digital content at their fingertips. It’s unregulated, so it’s not just available it’s pouring into them, hacking their psychology and behavior. Big tech spends enormous resources on hacking human behavior to keep people on their platforms as long as possible, because in the end the user is the product: the end customer who pays with their time, staying in front of the screen, swiping, tapping, watching.
“Dopamine”, “brain rot”, “attention span” etc: all those words keep getting thrown at us - ironically by the same content creators who want you to stay on their page, their profile, their post, buy their courses, consume, purchase their package, sign up for their newsletter, yada yada. That’s the irony. “Hey, I’m one of the good guys, here’s why...” Knowingly or unknowingly they’re the same bad guy, just in a different shell.
Taking control of your dopamine and reward system is simple, but it’s far from easy. Because you’re up against big tech. They have the money, the resources and the best human behavior specialists in their pocket, always one step ahead of you.
The solution in my opinion, is to treat yourself the way you would treat your dearest friend or a family member: sometimes you have to be the bad guy and physically stop yourself from opening the app, thinking that thought, or going down that route. And it’s not just the devices, the screen, or the hours spent in front of it. It’s your default mode network, where your mind goes on autopilot. It’s shaped by a combination of your own psychological, physical, and neurological makeup, plus whatever habits you’ve picked up with these digital devices. You have to be really observant and catch yourself from the side, noticing what you’re thinking about: Is this a negative spiral? Am I too fixated on this?
From my personal experience, the best time to prime yourself, is the first half of the day. You’re not overstimulated yet and you still have dopamine to spend before you drop to your baseline, or even below it.
One of the solutions (and I can only speak from my experience) is to journal and observe yourself, your thoughts and your behavior. Be your own judge, the friendly judge.
And save a bit of dopamine or willpower, whatever you want to call it, for the end of the day to write a few lines about how your day went:
- where you struggled
- where your best self could have taken over
- what you did that you regret
- where you’re proud of yourself
Your goal is to prime yourself for the long-term reward. Not instant gratification, but the reward that stays with you, that keeps you going on the days when you feel like shit and gets you through them. And when you’re in a good working mode, performing well, you refuel those long-term rewards and goals and that keeps you up.
Going back to the title, my main point is this: you need to limit yourself. Shield yourself from all the information nagging you, fighting for your attention, competing with your real tasks for your personal time. It offers fake value right off the bat: a small microdose of dopamine that you pay for out of your daily limit. Do this enough times in a row over weeks and months, and you’re building a good-ass fucking shitty habit of being a mediocre person.
The whole system requires you to:
- set your own goals
- be relentless about protecting them
- have your own reward system for the long term
- break those rewards down into small, actionable tasks you can hit day to day
It’s a combination of small, immediate tasks towards that goal and the feeling of movement and momentum towards your purpose.
No one is going to hand you a clear framework and steps. You have to define them yourself. But one thing I’m sure about: in today’s world self-imposed limitations are your protector and your best friend.
The key is to be self-aware and to build the ability of telling apart your immediate vs long-term rewards. Most of the time, you already know in the moment that you’re going to regret something tomorrow or later on. So stop, ask yourself and make a conscious choice: “Do I really want this, or am I going to regret it? Do I want this just to numb myself right now, or is this what actually benefits me and gets me moving?”
You need that struggle. While writing this piece, I thought back to the English tests I had to take, the writing sections that assessed my grammar, my thought process, my overall English. Back then, all we had was a pen, paper, and whatever knowledge and ability we had in our heads. That was it.
I remember how these fucking limitations, the time limit and the physical constraints, actually gave birth to my imagination and creativity. I’m the type of person who really struggles to do this unless the environment forces me to. Thirty minutes, and I have to write the piece. I have to push aside my thoughts, my urges and that self-justifying voice telling me I can take a 5-minute break and then carry on. No. It’s only 30 minutes, and this is all I get. I have to fucking use it and squeeze every bit out of it.
Looking back, that’s where I actually learned a lot: how to think under pressure. It has really, really paid off for me in the long term, up to this point and I know it will keep serving me in the future.
Yes, sometimes we need to have a good, good time right here, right now. I’m talking about going out with friends, doing things that bring zero fucking long-term benefit but actually make you feel good. Because that feeling is what inspires you to work towards your long-term goals. That’s the link.
I’m not great at putting my thoughts together, but this is what’s been on my mind and I wanted to share it.